


Walk by your side

by romanticmum



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:29:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24215947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticmum/pseuds/romanticmum
Summary: Esther Denham and John Babington meet at a party in London.  They find a personal connection through their appreciation of art but will their relationship ever develop further than being ‘just good friends’?
Relationships: Lord Babington/Esther Denham
Comments: 38
Kudos: 51





	1. First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

> Esther and Babington captured my imagination in the Sanditon TV series. After being inspired by other Esther/Babbers fanfics on AO3 (especially those by Muze), I have written my own multi-chapter fic.  
> Lord Babington didn’t have a first name in the TV series, so for this story I’ve gone with John. A good no-nonsense name, makes me think of someone I can rely on, which is Babbers to a T.

The London club was crowded with patrons queuing two deep at the bar. John Babington didn’t really want to come to the party this evening, but it was his friend Crowe’s birthday and he couldn’t miss that for anything. Work was busy all week and he needed to go up to the country estate early tomorrow morning to speak to the foreman again. The work on the flood defences was complex and costly – he hoped it would be a success and worth all the time, money and effort. 

Sidney came over with four bottles of beer, “It’s so busy, I thought I’d get extra in now,” he shouted. John could barely hear him over the dance music the DJ was playing. Crowe spotted them and came over to slap them both on the back. “Thanks for coming, glad you’ve got some beers in! Let your hair down lads, you deserve a good time!” he bellowed and then disappeared off into the crowd.  
John’s gaze followed Crowe into the melee and then was caught by a flash of red hair. He focussed on the red and saw it belonged to a petite woman stood in a group he recognised from Crowe’s last New Year’s Eve party. The woman was looking at the others but with a disinterested air about her, whatever was making the others giggle did nothing to amuse her. For some reason John was intrigued and thought about going over.  
A new song started playing and most of the women moved over to one of the small dancefloors leaving this mysterious woman and another on their own. John grabbed Sidney and dragged him over, “We’re going to talk to those two, my eye is on the redhead.”

Esther was bored. Why had she let Charlotte talk her into coming to this party? Apparently, the man throwing the party for his own birthday was known in the trendy clubs in London but, since she didn’t often go clubbing and certainly didn’t consider herself trendy, she had no idea who he was. She barely knew the girls they came with either. Oh, to be at home in her pyjamas watching a documentary she thought.  
Fortunately, she did have a glass of wine which would take the edge off a little and she was about to take a sip when two men appeared by their side after pushing their way through a gap in the dancing throng.

The taller man with dark hair had a broody air to him but she could tell Charlotte was interested as she flashed her toothiest smile at him. The other man had lighter brown hair with a few curls starting to form at the ends. He was not handsome in the film star sense, but he had a friendly smile and eyes that looked at her eyes, not at her cleavage or legs or just raked her up and down.  
“Hello ladies!” he said. “Welcome to the party, I’m John and this is my friend, Sidney. Are you ok for drinks?”

Esther could just about hear him over the music but waved her nearly full glass of wine at him. Sidney knew that John would not be ready with a second chat-up line so interrupted with his “So how do you know Crowe, the birthday boy?”  
Esther was always blunt and to the point, even more so when she was bored so she just stated, “I don’t.” She noticed John smile a bit more at that comment.  
Charlotte was more forthcoming, “Oh, I know some girls he works with and they asked us if we wanted to come. They said he always throws a good party. He seems quite popular, how do you two know him?”  
“We’ve been friends for years, since uni days. Still haven’t quite got used to the all-night raves he likes to have!” John joked.  


Sidney and John asked them the usual ‘chat up’ questions such as where they worked in London and how long they lived in the city. Charlotte was keen to answer, mostly gazing up at Sidney as she did so, but Esther spoke as little as possible. Quite quickly, Sidney and Charlotte found common ground to discuss as they realised the organisations they worked for co-operated on projects in the past. They chatted about that in more depth, leaving John and Esther to start their own conversation.

John found that Esther was straightforward in her responses, when she gave any, no trying to be nice or feigning interest in topics. Usually women would listen to him and gush and pretend he was fascinating which, although he knew some interesting facts, he did not think he warranted such a positive reaction. Esther’s responses were much more understated and she would say so if she didn’t like a topic. He never met anyone like her before, he was intrigued!

Working hard to find subjects she liked, he dropped lucky when she seemed to perk up at art history. She had taken some semesters at university and was glad to live in London where there was access to so many galleries. They discussed some exhibitions they attended recently and Esther lamented that she did not often have a companion to go to these shows as no-one she knew was particularly interested.

Quick to spot an opportunity for them to meet up again, John offered his services as a companion. He too wished to attend them with someone like minded so they could have meaningful discussions about the works. It took him a little while, using charm and persuasion, but he eventually got Esther to swap phone numbers. When the next exhibition came along, they could arrange to meet and go together. 

Esther was unsure at first, she did not make friends with men she had just met at clubs and bars. Some of her friends would go out with men that were good looking but barely any personality – she found this a huge turn off. It was a rare occasion that she would meet up with a bloke she met on a night out.  
For some reason, John was different. He did not strike her as particularly sexy or handsome on first acquaintance, but he certainly was not boring. She thought his comments on a recent exhibition they both visited were insightful, perhaps it would be more fun to share opinions with someone else? His number was saved in her phone, if it did not work out then she would just not see him again.

Not long after, Esther was dragged away by Charlotte - their friends were moving on to another club and her and Charlotte were sharing a taxi home. John gave her his friendly smile again, “It’s good to meet another art lover, I hope we can meet up again soon.” Esther offered a small smile back and allowed herself to hope they could meet again, too.


	2. Art Critics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Esther meet to visit an art gallery together. How will the evening go for them and will they want to see each other again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to have a common interest for John and Esther so they had an excuse to get to know each other, so I chose art (thanks to Muze on AO3 for the inspiration). I don't know much about art so my writing will be very general. I'm more interested in how John and Esther feel about each other whilst they're on the visit together.

A week after the party, John heard about a new exhibition opening at a lesser known gallery near Euston Station. He was keen to ask Esther but also a little apprehensive about her reaction. At the party, he had to use charm and persuasion to prise her phone number out of her. But he was not a person to be put off easily, so he phoned up that evening and offered to buy the tickets for the following week. At first, Esther seemed unsure, but he bribed her with the gallery’s offer of free Prosecco and nibbles.

The tickets purchased, John was ready and waiting ten minutes before the arranged time outside the gallery. He was eager to see Esther again. No woman in recent months had piqued his interest so much and he was hoping for an enjoyable evening of forthright remarks and thought-provoking discussion. 

Esther turned up a few minutes late, blaming a hold up on the tube. She looked beautiful, contemplated John, although a little out of breath from running. That was a good sign, he thought, she must have been keen for this evening, too.

They took advantage of the free Prosecco and nibbles as they wandered around viewing all the works. Many comments and critiques were made. Mostly they agreed on which exhibits they liked and disliked but there were a few opposing views that resulted in some lively discussion.

John found Esther’s remarks and opinions interesting and worked hard to provide meaningful comments and observations in return. They had similar preferences and the same dry humour, which brought many a smile to John and the odd small smile to Esther, he noted. When she spoke, her eyes captivated him with her passion. However, he felt like he only scratched the surface of her personality and intellect, and there were many more depths to her he could explore. 

After leaving the gallery, John suggested they go for a drink at a nearby bar so they could review their visit. Esther enjoyed the evening so far and readily agreed. 

John surprised her tonight – she had low expectations of his company, but it was a joy to see the art works whilst parrying observations and comments with another person who was similarly invested in the visit. She could not remember having such a good time at a gallery since her university days. There were many tutorials she remembered having impassioned discussions with fellow students and professors. This evening was nearly on a par with those and she said so to John. 

Time passed quickly and before she knew it they were the last customers in the bar. John walked her to the tube station and asked if they could meet up for coffee later in the week. Esther nodded but added, with a wry smile, she only drank tea. John gave her that friendly grin she had seen at the party last week and she unconsciously smiled back. He looked like he was going to say something else but then he was leaning into her and his hand touched her arm. Esther flinched and moved back. She had never been one to enjoy physical intimacy with people she did not know well, not even hugs with friends, so she was not prepared for him to get closer like that. 

She saw the look on his face change to a small frown and his hand dropped to his side. Before he could say anything, Esther blurted “I must go!” and hurried off to the tube entrance. She did not look back, not wanting to see John’s expression.

Esther spent the journey home filled with different emotions swirling around her head. Thoughts of the exhibition filled her with joy and she gave in to a little smile as she thought of her and John’s discussions. But then she remembered dashing off at the tube station – a knot of unease developed in the pit of her stomach. Why did John’s close proximity and a little touch make her panic and get away? She knew she had issues trusting people, but John barely touched her - why did she respond so strongly? 

*

John was left stunned at Esther’s departure and by the time he pulled himself together, Esther was already lost in the crowds at the station. He so enjoyed the evening and her company that he wanted to show her, by leaning in and giving her a peck on the cheek. But she flinched and then dashed off into the station. 

Had he misjudged the situation? He thought she enjoyed the evening as much as him, neither of them short of something to say at the gallery and that carried on at the bar afterwards. She even accepted his offer of meeting up for a drink later in the week. 

However, it was only the second time they met. Although he really liked her, they were still strangers to each other. For him and his family, giving little touches to people was natural but he knew that many people were more guarded. Perhaps it was too early in their relationship for him to get close to her and be physical like that, for her anyway.

He replayed what happened between them a few times in his mind. The only conclusion he could draw was that his gesture was unwelcome, and he invaded her personal space. He felt sick with guilt - how could he be so thoughtless? An apology must be made, but what if she was upset and she did not want to see him again? She was the most interesting woman he met in a long while and he hoped he could atone for his error.

Calls were made to her phone over the next few days, but all were left unanswered. He left a voicemail expressing his thanks for an enjoyable evening in her company and an apology for his actions at the end of the evening. He requested her to call him back, but the call never came.

By the following Friday, John could bear the silence no longer and waited outside Esther’s office building after work. He hoped to see her as she left for the day and at least clear the air between them. All week he rehearsed what he wanted to say, that he enjoyed her company and was regretful about what happened. If she no longer wished to see him, then he would have to accept it, but he hoped she could be persuaded to continue their acquaintance, letting it develop into friendship and hopefully something more.

Esther was confused by her behaviour after the gallery visit so she did not return John’s calls. Charlotte knew something was bothering her, but Esther was too embarrassed to talk about it. Looking back, Esther realised she must have panicked when John got close to her. She did not trust people easily, especially men, and it was a long time since she had what could be described as a romantic relationship (albeit a short one). She was just not ready for that physical closeness with a man she only met twice. 

She failed to convince herself that it did not matter, that John was just another forgettable bloke she met in a club. Their conversations were most enjoyable at the art gallery and she thought him worth getting to know better. 

Yes, she admitted to herself, she did want to see him again but, although John wanted her to call him back, she did not have the courage to do so.

On Friday afternoon, as she was leaving her office, she was surprised to see John waiting near the exit. She tried to school her shocked expression into a disinterested look but her stomach started churning, not knowing what to expect from this encounter.

Standing a few feet away, he greeted her, “Hello, Esther. Can we talk?” He pointed to a café next door, “I can buy you a cup of tea?”

John had his friendly smile on his face, although his eyes were guarded.

Esther was too surprised at his appearance to say anything, so just nodded and they headed to the café. She was still confused about her feelings and tried to think of something to say whilst John bought the tea. For privacy, she found them a small table in a quiet corner at the back of the room.

John started talking once he sat down.

“Esther, I’m sorry I’ve turned up out of the blue, but I wished to speak to you.” 

He took a deep breath, “I want to say how much I enjoyed your company at the art gallery last week. It's been a long time since I had such stimulating conversation about art… or about anything else, come to that.” 

John spoke with a gentle voice, pausing to give her a small smile when she glanced up at him.

“In hindsight, when we were at the tube station, I think I was too forward. We don’t know each other well and I believe my advances were unwelcome. I apologise for that and I hope you can forgive me.”

Esther listened intently to what he was saying but was too nervous to look up.

John continued, “I would like us to start again in getting to know each other. I understand if you do not want that.” He paused and she looked up to see his contrite expression mixed with a hint of hope in his eyes. 

“How do you feel about it, would you be willing to start again?”

Esther was relieved John took the lead in the conversation, but now realised she needed to respond and decide what to do.

She forced herself to look him in the eye as she told him that, she too, had a great time at the gallery. Taking a calming breath, she confessed she was not prepared for him to get physically close to her and that was why she left hurriedly. She acknowledged his recognition of that and accepted his apology. 

Esther noticed John’s reaction, he nodded and his shoulders seemed to relax a little. There seemed a little less tension in the air between them and perhaps a new start was possible.

Her mind felt much lighter than it had all week. Her worries about that evening and how John would react were unfounded. He was polite and pleasant and freely gave an apology for what he thought he did wrong. He was ready to start again, an implication that they could take it slow. 

Esther was unused to male company that was just friendly but, without the expectations of physical intimacy and emotional involvement, perhaps this man could become a friend. 

“I would like to start again, too. I hope you would still like a companion for future art exhibitions?” she asked with a tentative smile.

John’s smile turned into a grin as he accepted her offer and she could see his eyes sparkling. He invited her to meet up for another cup of tea next week and she readily accepted with a happy smile. Her stomach was churning but this time in a good way, it was excited anticipation for their next meeting. 


	3. Charlotte's Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Esther hold a party in their flat for Charlotte's birthday.

Texts were exchanged during the week and John and Esther met up for a quick cup of tea after work one evening. Both were busy with work and commiserated with each other about workloads and deadlines.

Esther mentioned Charlotte’s birthday was coming up, and that she was planning a party for friends at their flat. She mentioned casually that he was invited, and he could bring a friend if he wished. Her and Charlotte were going to sort the food so were asking guests to bring their own drinks.

John tried not to read too much into this invitation as Esther and Charlotte had probably invited many friends and casual acquaintances. He knew Charlotte invited Sidney, so he may have gone with him anyway, but if Esther had not invited him directly, he would probably have felt awkward about tagging along. But she did invite him, so he could not resist thinking that she did consider him a friend at least.

Esther in her own home was an opportunity to see a little more into her character, thought John. He would get to meet some of her other friends and how she acted with them, then compare to how she acted with himself. It could be an insight into what her true feelings were for him – just friendly, or perhaps a little more?

When John, Sidney and Crowe turned up the party was in full swing – for a small apartment there seemed to be a lot of people crammed in. A stereo was playing in the background but not so loudly they could not hear themselves. Charlotte saw them as they arrived (the door to the flat was open) and guided them to the kitchen to drop off their beer. She introduced them to some work colleagues of hers and they spoke to them for a while. John took quick glances around the flat now and again to see if he could spot Esther, but it was too crowded.

Later on, as he was mingling with other guests, he spotted her deep in conversation with two women he vaguely remembered from Crowe’s birthday party. She looked passionate whilst she was talking and he realised it was one of the things that he liked about her. Her hair fell round her face in waves and onto her bare shoulders. Even swigging from her bottle of beer, John thought he never saw a woman so beautiful. He could not wait to be chatting to her this evening.

Unfortunately, it would have to wait as Crowe beckoned him over to speak and drink with his friends first. There were lots of risqué jokes and loud banter – Crowe was in his element. John enjoyed his time with Crowe, but he was still a man on a mission to speak with a certain redhead. 

Finally, he was able to excuse himself and spotted Esther in the kitchen. There was a tall blonde man with her and they were talking heatedly - John could see a scowl on Esther’s face.

He watched them for a minute or two thinking he should not interrupt but then the man grabbed Esther’s arm. She tried to pull away, but he held it firm. John decided to intervene and walked over. 

As he entered the kitchen, he exclaimed, “Hi Esther, great party tonight!” whilst looking at her.

The man let go of Esther’s arm and took a step back. John looked between them and decided to introduce himself. 

“Hi, I’m John, a friend of Esther’s.” Feigning ignorance of their altercation, he offered his hand to shake.

“I’m Esther’s brother, Edward,” the man responded giving his hand a quick but firm shake. “Unfortunately, I can’t stay, so I’ll catch up with you later, Esther.” He looked across at her, but she did not make eye contact with him as he left. 

After checking that Edward actually did leave the apartment, John returned to Esther and asked if she was OK. She nodded but turned away, her eyes teary and she clutched the kitchen counter to disguise her shaking hands. “I saw a little of what happened between you and Edward,” he said quietly. “Do you want to go somewhere quiet to compose yourself?”

He followed her down a small corridor to a room at the end, which seemed to be her bedroom. Esther sat on the bed and John took the chair by the desk. He had grabbed some cups and a bottle of vodka from the kitchen and gave her a large measure. Esther kept her gaze on the carpet and they sipped their drinks in silence.

John did not like what he saw transpire between Esther and her brother. He would never act like that with his own sister. Also, the other party guests were oblivious to what was going on so what would have happened had John not intervened? He had not known Esther long but really wished he could help. 

He broke the silence with a gentle voice, “Esther, I will listen if you want to talk about what just happened. If not, I don’t mind sitting with you until you’re ready to go back to the party.”

Esther was startled from her thoughts by John’s suggestion and considered what to do. Edward had only been back in her life for a few months, but his presence was weighing on her mind and he was becoming more demanding. Every tactic she tried did not get rid of him and it was affecting her considerably. Maybe speaking to John would help, he seemed a decent man and a problem shared was a problem halved after all.

She took the bull by the horns and related her history. From her mother marrying Edward’s father when she was in her early teens to their untimely deaths when she was 16. She wallowed in her grief with Edward when they moved to live with her aunt, she had no other close family and had to leave her friends behind. 

First Edward and then Esther moved away to go to university. She met Charlotte on her first day and they became great friends. Her and Edward were both busy during that time and they did not keep in touch very much. She knew he had been in London for the last year or so but had not seen him until she bumped into him in a bar a few months back. He started pestering her for money because he was trying to set up his own business. Their aunt paid them an amount of money each month to help with living costs and Edward thought he could have her share to help with his business.

Phone calls and unannounced visits were common now and she felt on edge wondering when he would turn up next. He was charming and manipulative, making out the money was his birth right anyway as the nearest relative to their aunt. She put him off every time, but he kept returning. When he appeared at the party this evening, it pushed her to her wit’s end.

John listened attentively as Esther relayed all that happened. He felt sympathy for her losing her parents so young and could imagine her feeling quite isolated at that time. To know she had gone through all of that, but still worked hard to get through university and land a good job in London, made him think what an extraordinary woman she was. From the way she talked to him, it sounded like it was the first time she spoke about this issue with anyone, and he felt honoured that she trusted him with this information. He wanted to justify that trust and put forward his idea.

“Esther, I have a friend who works for an organization that helps start-up businesses, finding them financial and business administration support. Maybe, if Edward had help with his business, he wouldn’t have to come to you anymore?”

He could see a glimmer of hope in Esther’s eyes as she considered his suggestion. At that moment, he decided to do anything he could to help resolve this issue.

True to his word, John spoke to his friend and Esther arranged an appointment with him just over a week later. Esther felt like there was light at the end of the tunnel and was thankful to John for putting it there. She plucked up the courage to phone Edward and suggest this way forward. She persuaded him that they should both go to the initial meeting as she may be able to help with business plans (although really it was for her peace of mind that he did engage with the process). Fortunately, the advisor they met thought Edward’s business idea had potential and they drafted up an action plan so Edward could apply for grants. 

Esther helped Edward to write up his business strategy and forecasts, so the next two weeks were very busy - working her day job then meeting Edward later to work with him. After two follow-up meetings with the advisor, Edward was able to submit his grant application and Esther awaited the result with trepidation. 

Finally, a week later, the result came through and it was successful. Esther felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. A condition of the grant was for Edward to meet regularly with the grant funders so Esther was hopeful that his business would get off to a good start. She told Edward that she wished him luck with the business but did not want him contacting her as much anymore. She had her own job and life now, just as he did.

During this time, Esther kept in touch with John, sending him text updates and having a few short phone conversations. Speaking to him felt like a little treat for herself as he always listened to her and would have a joke or two to cheer her up. She delayed meeting up with John, though, as she felt the need to concentrate on helping Edward until they heard the result of the grant application. 

Following this positive result, she wanted to celebrate with John and thank him. To get that issue resolved and Edward out of her life was a big deal for her and she wanted John to appreciate how he was instrumental in that. She decided to invite him for drinks, as they could properly talk together and she could relay all that happened with Edward. Plus, she just really needed to see his friendly smile again. She phoned him up and hoped he was free to meet the following evening.


	4. Friends Forever?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Esther and John have drinks and their friendship develops but are they on the same page?

John did not see Esther for four weeks as she was monopolised by Edward. They exchanged texts and a few phone calls, but he missed seeing her. More and more he found himself thinking about what she would be doing at any particular time – where would she be, who she was with, what was she thinking. Quite often he had to stop himself from texting her about trivial things as she might think he was pestering her. 

When she finally contacted him with the good news about the business grant, he was so happy for her. The relief in her voice was palpable even over the phone. 

She offered to take him out for drinks as a thank you and they arranged to meet the following evening. He arrived at the bar straight from work and his stomach was fizzing from excitement at being able to see her again. Work seemed to go extra slowly as he counted down the hours to their meeting. 

When he saw her arrive, his heart skipped a beat – she was as beautiful as ever, her hair was in a chignon and a pastel-coloured chiffon scarf was casually knotted around her throat. There was a joyful smile on her face as she came over. 

“Hello John,” she said. He could not help the beaming grin on his face as he said hello back.

She averted her eyes and took a deep breath. Her hand briefly touched his arm and she gazed back up at him as she spoke.

“Thank you for helping Edward. It’s been hard work these last few weeks, but I do feel that his business has a much better chance of success now and I won’t be hearing from him as much.”

Her smile trembled as she remembered all that happened in those few weeks.

John accepted her thanks and commented, “I’m glad that Edward has got this jump start for his business, but,” and he brushed his fingers over her forearm briefly, mirroring her touch from before, “what little I did, I only thought of helping you. I hope that he will no longer harass you.”

Her smile fell a little and she glanced down. Collecting herself, she seemed to remember why they were here and asked John what drink he would like. The bar did a selection of cocktails and since it was ‘2 for 1’ hour they perused the menu and chose ones that were the most colourful with fruit and straws in them.

They sat down with their drinks and Esther relayed all that happened with Edward – the meetings, the plans, the times she had to persuade him that this was what they needed to do to give his business the best chance of success. She confessed to John that at times Edward was unwilling to put in the work and she felt like she did the lion share. But he was her step-brother and she wanted to get him started with the business to help him. 

John understood the feeling of having loyalty to his family – what Esther did for her step-brother was loyal and very generous and he wondered whether Edward really deserved it.

Esther exclaimed what a huge relief it was to hear of the success of the grant. John noted that she did seem more positive and happy than she had been in a while. He truly hoped that Esther’s hard work would pay off and she would not be harassed by Edward any more.

They spoke about work and social plans for the next few weeks. John could hear in her voice and see in her face that passion again and he was glad that he helped to put it there. 

He had only known Esther for a relatively short time, but he knew that she was a passionate, loyal and generous person. To be her friend was gratifying, but he wanted to be closer to her – emotionally, physically, and be part of her future in the longer term. 

Leading up to this evening, he contemplated asking her if she wanted to go on a date with him. After she thanked him before, he felt that she may feel obligated to say yes, so decided against it for now. He did not want to force her into something if she was not ready. A few more weeks to develop their friendship a little more, then he would ask her.

Their conversation moved onto an exhibition coming up that they were both keen to see. They booked online tickets for it there and then and celebrated with another drink and some more friendly conversation. John had plenty of time to plan how best to ask her for a date.

*

Since the ‘thank you’ drinks, John and Esther contacted each other more often via texts and calls. Unfortunately, they were both busy with work and did not have chance to meet up before it was the date of the exhibition.

John counted down the days. He realised that he had fallen for Esther – her passion, her straightforwardness, her strength and vulnerability. There were many layers to her personality he believed he had not reached yet and no matter how many times they spoke or met there was always something new to learn. There was also the physical attraction – many nights were spent dreaming about running his fingers through her copper curls and gazing into her hazel eyes. There was one dream where he kissed her, but he buried that deep in his mind as he felt it was dangerous territory.

The way to broach a ‘date’ was something on his mind, too. He believed they were good friends now with regular phoning and texting the norm, and chats over cups of tea when they had the time.

But to go that step further and ask for a date, the prospect of a romantic relationship – would she want that with him? After the incident at the first gallery visit, John made sure to keep a little physical distance between them. Apart from the touch she gave him after helping Edward, she had not touched him at all. He watched her at Charlotte’s party and she did not seem very physical with others there either, so perhaps she just did not engage with people in that way.

If physical cues were non-existent, how else would he be able to tell if she saw him as a prospective romantic partner though? They connected through their common interest in art and he felt she trusted him after the Edward situation. These last few weeks, Esther started to initiate contact with him through texts and phone calls - a good sign that she was more comfortable in their friendship, John thought. But would she want to take it a step further – physical intimacy, emotional attachment?

He decided he would see how their visit to the exhibition went and watch for any clues Esther gave that would uncover how she felt about him. If there was an opportunity to broach the subject, he would take it.

Esther was also looking forward to the exhibition very much as it was an artist she liked for years. She did notice she was keeping regular contact with John – she enjoyed their little chats and his dry sense of humour was similar to hers, making her laugh more than she had done in a while. He crept into her life without her really noticing and now she did consider him a good friend.

She hoped they would have time after the exhibition to have drinks and to chat. John was one of the few people she was comfortable talking to about personal stuff and she realised it was good to share issues and hear someone else’s viewpoint rather than keep it bottled up inside. It had taken her many years to start trusting friends with her personal feelings, first with Charlotte and now John.

Unfortunately, her work got in the way again because Ben, the leader of the project she was working on, asked her to meet up outside of work. He suggested it might be good to bounce around ideas in a more informal setting. The project was interesting and challenging and she believed if her input was exceptional that it might get her noticed with some influential managers. So, with a dose of disappointment for the shortened time with John, she agreed to meet with Ben after the exhibition.

After taking extra care with her appearance (she did not dwell too much on why she needed to), she set off for the gallery. John was already there when she arrived - she noted how good he looked in his shirt and jacket.

The art pieces in the exhibition were a mixed bag of great and poor, but John and Esther went round them all, considering and reflecting on each other’s opinions. There was one piece that they both found particularly intriguing and they stood together for a while taking it in. 

All too soon, it was time for Esther to take her leave so she could get to the bar for drinks with Ben. John’s smile faltered when she said she had to go. She explained it was for drinks with Ben from work, and suggested they catch up again next week. John nodded and wished her a good time although she noted the sentiment did not reach his eyes. She wondered whether he too wished to spend more time together. They would have to make up for it later in the week and made a mental note to call him soon.

When Esther said she needed to leave, John tried to hide his disappointment from her but he knew he failed seeing Esther's small frown. The visit to the exhibition went so well – he felt they were really in tune with each other on their opinions of many of the works. He was going to suggest a drink afterwards, when they could talk some more and he could broach the subject of dating. But she had a prior engagement - by the sounds of it she was having drinks with someone else, perhaps that was a date?

Back at his flat, he felt miserable and listless. He lost his appetite so did not eat much of his takeaway, and then declined Crowe’s offer of a night out drinking. The evening was spent watching films on the TV, but he was not really engaged with them. All he could think about was Esther’s smile and the ache he felt knowing she was showing it to another man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it got angsty but there will be a happy ending eventually!


	5. Now or never?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a rough week, an unexpected circumstance brings Esther and John together. Is this time for feelings to be shared?

Esther was angry. Ben got her to the bar under false pretences. They talked about the project when she arrived but only briefly. All too soon, Ben asked personal questions and got too close to her, touching her arm and shoulder when she did not want it. She gave short answers and kept moving away from him, but he persisted. Since he was the leader of the project, she could not just leave so she put up with him for one drink then made her excuses and left.

Tears were shed once she got home. She worked extremely hard over the last two years to get this job and had ambitions to move up the ranks. There were a few people like Ben she met on the way but none so brazen. Her options were limited. She decided to make sure the work she did was attributed to her, and then there should be opportunities to work on other projects away from Ben in the future.

The following week she kept her head down and away from Ben as much as possible. If she had to speak to him, she was short and to the point, then excused herself to carry on with the work. She was determined to see it through and hopefully move on to bigger and better projects – she did not get this far in her job to give up now.

John rallied following the disappointment of Esther leaving after the exhibition. A review of the events persuaded him that all was not lost – Esther did not say it was a date with Ben, so he was still in with a chance. However, the week was still miserable as there was no time to meet up with her. His phone calls went to voicemail and only a few short text conversations were squeezed in. 

For weeks now, John's days were dull if there was no contact with Esther. Even a few texts from her could make him smile and fill his chest with warmth. The yearning to be with her was almost constant in his gut. He needed to tell her his feelings and establish if they were returned. Was a closer relationship something Esther would want from him – especially as she had been out with someone else? Did she think of him as more than a friend? 

Confessing his feelings came with risks to their friendship, though. Would they lose the comfortable ease between them if she knew of his deeper feelings but did not return them? It was a risk John was willing to take as his emotions struggled against their restraints. 

Circumstances favoured John in an unexpected way. After Crowe’s birthday party all those weeks ago, Sidney and Charlotte also met up regularly, but their relationship developed more quickly than John and Esther's. They were officially dating for a month now, and Charlotte wanted Sidney to stay over at the flat for the weekend. She asked Esther if she would vacate and stay with a friend to give her and Sidney some privacy. 

After Esther’s busy week, this was the last thing she needed, but Charlotte’s excitement was persuasive, and this was the only weekend for a while where she and Sidney were both available.

Esther capitulated and considered who to ring for a place to crash. John was the first person to come to mind – a surprise for Esther because he was a relatively new friend and barring Charlotte’s party, they only met at public places. There were other friends she could ring but her mind kept choosing John. Trying not to think too hard about what that meant, she grabbed her phone and texted him before she changed her mind. The likelihood was he was busy anyway.

A short while later, John’s positive answer came back:

_John_ : Of course you can stay. What time to arrive and do you want to go out?

_Esther_ : Over around 6pm. Don’t feel like going out after this busy week. Takeaway and movie night in ok with you?

_John_ : Yes, fine. Spare room ready, bring your pyjamas and toothbrush 😊

He added his address and gave her the nearest tube station to his flat. Esther was a little taken aback. She asked and he was ok with it. He did not make a fuss and was fine with just eating a takeaway and watching some movies on the TV with her. She shook herself – what else did she expect? He was her friend and friends helped each other out when it was needed. That was all there was to it.

John’s stomach ping ponged between fizzing with excitement and churning with uncertainty since Esther’s texts two days ago. He responded yes before thinking about it. It was an opportunity to enjoy her company again, they would have a meal and a few drinks together.

It was also perfect timing for him to test the waters of a closer relationship. His feelings were so strong now, he needed to do something about them.

Sidney called him up to say he could not go out Saturday night because he was staying at Charlotte’s. He knew that Esther was staying with John and asked questions, but John refused to be drawn in – he and Esther were friends, that was all. Sidney saw the signs in John and knew he liked her - he suggested it was about time John let Esther know how he felt. 

John gave it much thought from then until just before Esther arrived. He decided to let nature take its course and tell her when the right moment presented itself. If there wasn’t a right moment, then definitely before she left for home tomorrow. Decision made, he checked over his flat one last time.

The flat’s buzzer alerted him to his visitor. His heart pounded in his chest as he pressed the button to let her in at the main door. Then he opened his door to meet her when she came up.

Esther took the stairs up to John’s flat to give her time to prepare herself. All day her stomach fluttered with excited anticipation for this evening. They talked briefly on the phone earlier, but she had not seen him in a week and was looking forward to it. She packed a small overnight bag, including pyjamas and toothbrush as John suggested. She wondered what his flat was like. 

At the top of the stairs she spotted him by his door – the sight brought a little smile to her face. A night chilling on the sofa with her friend was the best idea after her busy week.

John guided her in and she quickly scanned the apartment. “Thanks for letting me stay over at such short notice” she said. “No problem!” was the response.

He gave her a quick tour – it was a small place but had everything you would need: a small living area with sofa and TV, kitchen cum diner with a decent looking oven and hob, two bedrooms – the one for her had gym equipment squeezed into the corner - and a small bathroom. She could tell that he made an effort and tidied up. 

John offered her tea - she remarked she could do with something stronger but could wait until the food arrived. Laughing at that, John grabbed some takeaway menus from a stash in a kitchen drawer.

“I recommend the Chinese and Indian, but I’ll eat anything as I’m starving!” he joked.

Esther did not have the energy to do an Indian justice, so they plumped for a Chinese banquet for two – if there were leftovers, John could have them for tea tomorrow.

There was a pause while the kettle boiled and John ordered the food on his mobile. Then he asked about her work project, what progress was made and if she would hit her deadline.

Esther gave vent to all her frustrations over the project – all the work she already put in before having to do more following the meeting with Ben. John stared at her with an odd look when she related the story of Ben inviting her for drinks under false pretences, then looked away from her for a minute. 

She carried on talking, speaking of her hope she would be put on other teams in the future. At that, John replied that all her hard work would be for something, she was an extraordinary person and deserved to be recognised for her work. Esther’s heart swelled – no-one said anything like that to her before.

John gazed at Esther intensely as he said how much she was appreciated then stopped talking before he got carried away. There was a pause between them as John’s statement was absorbed by them both. Esther decided to thank John again for letting her stay at such short notice.

“I thought you may already have plans this evening, it is Saturday night after all! You didn’t have to cancel a date for me?” she said jokingly.

That cut too close to home for John – any time with Esther was a date for him (even though he repeatedly told himself he should not think that). He brushed off the question by saying he was too busy with work to be going on dates. There must have been something in his demeanour because Esther turned serious and with a knowing look, asked if there was someone he liked.

John took a moment to decide what to say, Esther was quite perceptive so he would not get away with a lie.

He looked at his mug while he spoke, “Yes, there is someone I quite like.”

“Oh,” said Esther and paused for a moment. “Tell me about them,” she suggested.

Was this the opportunity to share his feelings? He wanted to but was not sure of Esther’s reaction. She showed no signs of being interested in him as more than a friend and even though the drinks with Ben was not a date, what if there were other men she preferred? But he put off asking her on a date for weeks now, and he decided this weekend was time to confess.

He looked into her eyes as he spoke, “I’ve known her a while. She is witty and intelligent, caring and loyal, hardworking and perceptive. She’s beautiful – inside and out.”

Esther maintained eye contact while he spoke but then dropped her gaze. After a moment she looked back up at him, “She sounds amazing. Does she know you like her?”

John felt like he was under a burning spotlight. “She does now.”

He watched her face to see if she understood what he was trying to say. There was a moment before her smile faded and she stared back at him.

He made sure she got his meaning although his mouth felt dry, “You’re more than a friend to me. I’ve liked you since the moment I first met you and my feelings have grown as I’ve got to know you better.”

Esther was still looking at him with a confused and slightly surprised look on her face. The cat was out of the bag so he ploughed on.

“I would like to take you out on a proper date, like dinner at a good restaurant.”

He paused for Esther’s response, but she remained mute. John was beginning to think this was not going well.

“You don’t have to give me an answer now. Have a think about it. Tonight, we can just be two friends hanging out, eating Chinese and watching films on TV.”

He fiddled with his mug and waited but Esther turned away and remained quiet.

Maybe she needed time to process what he said. He took a deep breath to pull himself together and moved to the sofa. “I’ll see what films are on the TV.”


	6. Close encounters (of the romantic kind)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has confessed his feelings for Esther and is awaiting her response. The chapter title gives away the outcome I think!

Esther’s mind swirled with emotions following John’s confession. It took her a few seconds to comprehend what he said. She was struck dumb when he said he liked her all the time he had known her. ‘More than a friend’ liked her.

He wanted to take her on a proper date. Did that mean holding hands and kissing? She had not done that in a long time. 

Her thoughts flitted about – John said she should think about his request so that is what she would do. But she had to do it now – she could not just pretend to hang out with John when he dropped that bombshell.

She grabbed her mug and silently went into the guest room not looking back at John. Sitting on the bed, she needed to make sense of what just happened.

Firstly, how did she feel about John? The first time they met all those weeks ago, she instinctively knew he was different to other men. He listened to what she had to say and responded accordingly – other men she met very often did not even give her a chance to speak. 

They quickly identified a common interest in art and she enjoyed his company at that first exhibition. Belatedly, she realised he leant in to kiss her at the station that night – but she rushed away, unprepared for that step. She was surprised he came to see her after that, but with hindsight, he must have liked her enough to try again. 

Since then he was so patient with her – not pushing to meet all the time and he kept a physical distance when they did meet. Looking back, Esther appreciated John did her a service, allowing her to get to know him at her own pace and not feel pressured. 

For a while now, she believed him to be a generous and caring soul, friendly and thoughtful. She trusted him with the Edward situation, and he rewarded that trust by helping her out. 

When she did not see him for a while, she quite often rang him up just to chat and hear his voice. He listened to her, would offer suggestions to help her and could always cheer her up with a joke or two. He and Charlotte were the only two people she would count on as her best friends.

He was her first choice to stay with this weekend – no-one else came close. When he first said he liked someone just before, her stomach churned – was that disappointment thinking it was not her? 

Her thought process stopped suddenly – she was falling for him too, although she did not realise until now. 

With this revelation she considered the present situation. They were together in his flat and he declared his feelings for her. What was he doing at this moment? How did he feel? When he spoke before, he gazed at her intensely, as though he considered at length what he would say. But with her continued silence his face betrayed uncertainty and vulnerability.

Did he take her silence to mean she did not return his feelings? Was he now sitting on the other side of the door contemplating her rejection? John was a decent man and deserved a definitive answer from her sooner rather than later. 

John offered to take her out for dinner – the thought filled her with more excitement than trepidation so she would say yes to his offer. They already knew each other well, a date would allow them to deepen that knowledge. The physical side of a relationship worried her a little, but she knew John was patient and would not push her if she was uncomfortable. 

The buzzer interrupted her thoughts – the takeaway must have arrived. John would probably knock in a minute. She needed to put her feelings and thoughts into words and tell him.

John tried to concentrate on the film he selected but his thoughts were consumed with Esther. She seemed surprised at his feelings for her but stayed silent and disappeared to her room. Was the thought of him as a prospective lover abhorrent? His stomach was nauseous at the thought of her rejecting him. 

If her answer was no, could he be content with just being friends? Esther was an extraordinary woman and to be her friend so far was amazing. A refusal would hurt but he did not want their friendship to end – he would just have to tough it out.

The buzzer sounded and he dashed downstairs to collect the takeaway. All the containers were laid out on the table with plates and cutlery. He hesitated at Esther’s door before giving it a gentle knock and saying the food was ready.

His appetite dimmed somewhat but he served himself some of the food, the smell awakening his empty stomach. Esther appeared at her doorway – he gave her a hesitant smile.

Persevering with the ‘two friends hanging out evening’, John gestured to the food and said, “Help yourself.”

She came over and took a plate. He did not want her to hide away again. “Do you want to watch the film?” he asked her and pointed to the TV. His sofa was tiny though – she would not want to be squashed up with him, he thought. 

“You take the sofa and I’ll bring a chair over,” he suggested.

Esther looked at the sofa and then at him, “It’s OK. We can both fit on the sofa.”

Her response surprised him, but not wanting to make the situation any more awkward, he grabbed them beers from the fridge and sat down on the sofa. 

Esther could cut the tension between them with a knife, but decided that, for now, they were two friends sharing a Chinese. She sat next to John on his sofa and noticed the small but definite gap between them. John had pressed himself into the corner – perhaps he felt uncomfortable being so close to her after her lack of response to his confession? 

They sat quietly and ate their food. Esther feigned interest in the film whilst she considered how best to speak to John later. Many times he commented how forthright she was, so that was probably the way to go. Blunt and to the point, no ambiguity. She would wait until they finished their food and the film then speak to him.

Being sat so close to him, Esther noticed how attracted she was to John. There were a couple of outings where she thought he looked good in his shirt or suit but tonight he seemed even more handsome. His muscular forearms, the broad shoulders under his polo shirt, the stubble on his cheek. She wondered what it would be like to run her fingers through the curls at the collar of his shirt. Her heart rate picked up and heat pooled in her belly.

Perhaps the physical side of a relationship would not be that tricky after all? Her fingers itched with a desire to touch him.

Their food consumed and the film finished, they tidied away their plates and got some more beer. John suggested choosing another film to watch but Esther, with her heart pounding, told him she wanted to talk now.

John knew that Esther did not mince her words and apprehension consumed him. At least he would know where he stood with her. He switched off the TV and they sat at the kitchen table.

His hands gripped his thighs to stop them from fidgeting. Esther’s expression did not give much away – she stared at her hands clasped on the table. This was it, he thought, when she told him she just liked him as a friend and his hopes for a future with her would be dashed. He took some deep breaths to calm his racing heart.

Esther looked up at him and he gazed into her eyes fearing it would be the last time. She took a shaky breath and started to speak.

“John, your confession earlier took me by surprise and I needed to have a think about it.”

She swallowed then carried on, “Over these last few months, I have enjoyed your company very much and know you are a person I can trust.”

John thought this was the point when she would say ‘but I like you just as a friend’ and bit his lip to maintain his composure.

Esther continued with a tremor in her voice, “You are one of two people I feel comfortable talking to about personal things, and I am grateful for your help with Edward.”

John nodded at that but averted his eyes – he could not watch her refuse him, it would hurt too much. Esther paused to take a breath, “My feelings for you have grown, too, and I would like to go on a date with you.”

Those last few words replayed through John’s mind twice before he fully comprehended that, yes, Esther did want to go on a date with him. He looked up at her and his mouth dropped open in surprise. He decided to ask just to make sure, “so you will go out to dinner with me?”

Esther nodded her head and gave him a small happy smile. John’s initial disbelief morphed into joy and he could not help a big grin spreading across his face. “Really?” he asked, he was still surprised at her answer.

“Yes!” Esther laughed. They gazed at each other with soppy grins on their faces. 

John was just about to ask where she would like to go when Esther moved over to him.

“I’ve not been on a date in a while so I think we should have a practise beforehand.” She stretched out her hand for him to take. “Let’s go sit on the sofa and watch a film together.”

Feeling her hand in his, small and soft, was so tender that tears pricked at John’s eyes. For so long he imagined how this would feel and it was so much better than his dreams. They took their beers to the sofa and Esther snuggled up to John as he put his arm around her shoulder.

Esther relaxed into John’s side, her arm warm from resting it next to his leg. Sitting here she felt safe, like she and John were in their own little bubble free from the trials of the outside world. She captured everything about this moment to memory – contentment to be here with him, the sensation of his hand on her arm and the faint smell of his spicy cologne.

After her busy week, Esther was quite tired and rested her head on John’s shoulder. The food, beer and noise of the TV lulled her into a doze.

She became aware of her arm being nudged and opened her eyes. The credits were rolling on the film and she heard John whispering her name.

As she sat up, John turned to her slightly. She met his adoring gaze and his pupils enlarged. Her mouth dry, she licked her lips – John’s gaze dropped to watch them. He moved his hand towards her face slowly, a questioning look on his face. Knowing the decision was hers, she took his hand and held it against her cheek. John let out a small gasp. 

Esther had never been this close to John’s face. The tension between them drew her even closer. He whispered, “May I kiss you?”

“Yes,” she breathed. 

It all happened in slow motion. Their lips met, all soft and tentative. Esther melted into John - never had a kiss felt so special. When John gently explored with his tongue, she readily opened her mouth to him. He tasted of beer and prawn toast, reminding her of their takeaway earlier. Her hands splayed across his chest then moved up to grab hold of his collar, confirmation to John of her desiring the kiss as much as he did. His strong arm moved round her back to pull her in closer and they lost all sense of time and place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there has been some angst but it makes the kiss so much sweeter!  
> Looking forward to their date now :)


	7. Connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Esther has agreed to go on a date with John. This chapter starts from the day after John's confession and includes part of their anticipated first date.

John and Esther did not share a room that night, this development in their relationship too new and exciting to require more than kissing. John suggested they go to a local café the next morning for breakfast and they could talk more then. Esther agreed, she still felt tired and needed a good night’s sleep to process all these changes.

John took a while to relax and fall asleep – the events of the evening stretched his emotions to the extreme and he took time to process it all whilst lying in bed.

After his confession, her silent retreat convinced him she did not like him as more than a friend. His hope for a positive reaction dwindled and to continue as friends was all he could envisage. 

Eating the takeaway on the sofa was another struggle - to have her so close was almost unbearable. He knew she kept looking his way but he focussed on his food and the film, self restraint would be lost if he set his eyes on her. 

When she wanted to talk, his heart plummeted to his stomach. He believed his hopes would be dashed once and for all. But, surprisingly, her response was positive and his joy at her acceptance of a date knew no bounds.

Sitting on the sofa with Esther snuggled next to him, John was thrilled. The warmth of her body and her floral scent teased his senses. He did not even mind her dozing off – for her to feel relaxed enough to fall asleep with his arm around her warmed his heart. 

That first kiss was replayed a dozen times as he lay in bed. When she woke up after the film, he was enthralled by her gaze and the desire to kiss her was overwhelming. His heart leapt when she took his hand and rested it against her smooth cheek - he knew then she wanted the kiss too. 

It was slow and tentative at first. He savoured the touch of her lips before exploring further, fighting his body’s urge to deepen the kiss. The anticipation was just as exciting as the kiss itself. Esther’s response to his tongue and her hands on his chest tore away a level of his restraint and he pulled her closer. He succumbed to the sensations of her taste, touch and scent. 

When they stopped to draw breath, Esther coyly met his eyes and he knew she was not ready for further intimacy. Although he wanted to dash on ahead with the relationship, he tempered his thoughts knowing he needed to take his cues from Esther as they moved forward. He liked her from the first time they met – he knew that she took a little longer to come round.

Sunshine greeted them the next morning, reflecting all the happiness and joy that John and Esther felt towards one another. A shy kiss was shared over a cup of tea and they held hands walking down to the café.

Over their full English breakfasts, John told Esther a little more about his family’s country estate. She already knew he was the son of an Earl and would inherit the estate and title in the future. Since his father retired two years ago, John was overseeing the running of the estate and had been travelling up there every few weekends. 

Esther was a little surprised at John’s mention of the title but realised what a weighty responsibility came with it. Her respect and admiration for him increased considerably when she understood how much work he put in to both his London job and the family estate.

John’s next visit was in two weeks – he wondered if Esther would like to come up on the Saturday afternoon and stay over? He could give her a tour of some of the estate and the house and take her for a meal in the evening. Esther accepted readily – she was intrigued to see the house and the area where John grew up. To enjoy a romantic meal with him would be lovely. The thought of potentially sharing a bed also popped into her mind but she quickly set that aside to think about nearer the time.

On her way home, Esther reflected on her friendship with John and how rapidly she moved from thinking of him as a close friend to a love interest. There must have been deeper feelings for him before now that she did not recognise. With hindsight, revealing her family history to him was a big step for her – but he made it so easy to share it with him that she had not considered how big a deal it was until now. 

She always thought him generous with his time, prepared to listen to her talk about everything under the sun. This was another hint that she found him trustworthy as there were very few people with whom she felt comfortable chatting. 

Esther never took too much stock of a person from their looks, but last night on his sofa she blushingly recalled how appreciative she was of his broad shoulders, muscular arms and curly hair.

Visiting his estate in two weeks was an excursion to look forward to, after she finished all the hard work on her current project. They may not get much time to see each other between now and then but she could speak to him often on the phone and it would give her time to properly reflect on how she wanted this relationship to develop.

The next two weeks passed in a blur for John. Two projects at his London job required considerable attention as the deadlines were looming. He also decided to go up to the estate a day earlier so he could finish that work before Esther came up to visit. Whenever he had a moment spare, Esther was first in his thoughts and he could not help a grin spreading across his face. They texted each other regularly but John restricted it to evenings only as it became a distraction for him at work. 

They squeezed in a few drinks one evening, and Esther filled him in on the conclusion of her project. Her work was noted by two senior managers and she was hopeful of future challenges. John was happy for her - she was amazing and deserved recognition for her endeavours.

As their meeting was in public, only a few kisses and touches were stolen. John yearned to be more intimate but reminded himself to be guided by Esther – he was not sure how far she was prepared to go. He was surprised by her closeness that evening in his flat, she barely touched him before then.

John suppressed his feelings and waited months for her, he could wait a little longer if Esther was not ready. Fortunately, the wing of his country house had two guest rooms, so Esther could have her own room when she visited.

Esther anticipated the visit with nervous excitement. Butterflies in her stomach were almost constant. This trip was a real insight into John and his life, past and present, and she could not wait to see the house and estate. Evenings were spent thinking about what would happen when she was there – what would they talk about, where would he take her out for dinner, how intimate would they be?

The latter question involved thorough contemplation. Esther imagined herself in love with Edward when she was younger, but he did not feel the same and nothing happened physically between them. She slept with a few men since then but only during short-lived relationships and one-night stands. 

If, and when, she slept with John, she knew it had to mean something emotionally as well as physically, for both her and John. That connection was something she could imagine having with John as they already connected on other levels. Much time was taken in deciding what lingerie to wear under her dress for their dinner date just in case. Uncertainty surrounded that issue but she would at least be prepared for whatever happened.

The Saturday of the visit finally arrived and John reached the station just as Esther’s train was pulling into the platform. He waited by the exit and she was the last passenger to come through with a rucksack and garment bag. They greeted each other with a nervous kiss then John took her bags and directed her to his car. 

He asked if she was willing to see some of the estate now - they could go by car, before they travelled back to the house. Esther agreed and added she looked forward to seeing the estate all week. This statement pleased John immensely, he was glad that Esther showed interest as it was an important part of his life.

The local region was relatively flat but he drove to a hill where they could see a fair distance and he could point out the extent of the family’s estate. On the way there, Esther commented how it was months since she was in the countryside – the last time was a visit to her aunt’s home near the seaside. She spent her time walking by the sea and in the nearby hills. John could tell from her tone of voice that she enjoyed seeing those views. Perhaps they would have time for a short walk tomorrow.

At the top of the hill, they exited the car and John pointed out various landmarks. There were fields of crops as far as the eye could see with the odd farmhouse dotted in between and a narrow river snaking through. John mentioned an area that had been flooded further upstream in the past and the ongoing project with contractors working to build some flood defences.

Some way in the distance, John pointed and said that was where the house was situated – it was about four miles away. Esther asked if there were any grounds or gardens around the house. John smiled, there were some lovely gardens and now was the best time for the dahlias.

Esther had no idea that John’s estate would be this large. Her admiration for him grew as she realised the huge responsibility to manage these lands as well as the job he had in London. 

The views across the fields were beautiful, especially in the afternoon sun and she took photos with her phone’s camera. Unguarded, she mentioned how she would like to paint some of the views. John was surprised, he did not know that she liked to paint. Esther became coy then, she had not painted in a long while because she lacked inspiration. To be inspired to paint after all this time surprised her, and it was no small thanks to John.

They travelled on, driving through a couple of small villages with stone cottages and colourful gardens. John turned off the main road and about half a mile later turned through some large gates and onto a long winding driveway. There were grass and trees on either side for a while until they came round a bend and Esther could glimpse the house in a dip in the distance. 

John glanced across at Esther and remarked “That’s the family house.” Esther’s eyes widened as she took it all in. It was much bigger than she anticipated with a long façade and shallow steps leading up to large doors. There were three storeys with Georgian style windows. A gravelled area in front of the house edged a manicured lawn that led down to a small lake. Paths went round the lake and off in a couple of directions away from the house. 

Esther gasped at the sheer scale of the manor as they got closer. Her aunt’s place was large but this was even greater in size. John parked around the back but to one side. He explained that he only used one wing to live in when he stayed. The rest of the house was kept under cover and only opened up a few times a year for public viewings. It had also been used as a film location for two TV programmes. 

Esther asked whether it was intrusive when the public or film crews were around, but John said the wing where he stayed could be cut off from the rest of the house, so he kept some privacy. 

They walked around to the front of the house so that Esther could see it properly. Closer viewing highlighted the small details on the doors and window frames, and the parapet of the roof. A little walk towards the lake in front of the house allowed them a better view of the whole building. John explained the lake was dug in not long after the house, as a focal point when looking from the house. Esther asked if it was ok if she took some more photos. John nodded, “Of course! Are you inspired again?” 

“Yes,” she answered smiling, she was very inspired.

Seeing Esther gazing and admiring the house made John's heart swell with happiness. She asked a lot of questions on the way here in the car, about the upkeep and time involved to manage everything. He felt she really understood what a responsibility it was to maintain this estate – a feeling he never had with any other women that he dated. A wave of admiration for her consumed him again and he went over to her and took her hand.

“I’m glad that you are appreciative of this house and the area. It’s very important to me.”

“I know,” she said, and looked him in the eye. “I am fascinated by it all.”

Receiving that look, he submitted to the longing to kiss her properly. He started gently at first, but quickly the kiss became heated with hands and mouths exploring each other as they stood on the lawn.

John reluctantly parted from Esther as he remembered the timeline for the evening.

“I’ve booked a table at a good restaurant nearby, so we’d better get ourselves ready. I’ll give you a quick tour of my wing then I can show you the rest of the house tomorrow.”

Esther nodded and he led her by the hand back to the car to grab her bags and then into the house. He showed her the living area and kitchen downstairs, then took her upstairs to the bedrooms. John chose the larger of the guest rooms for Esther because it had an en-suite bathroom and a beautiful view down to the lake. He asked if she needed anything before leaving her to get ready for the restaurant. Closing the door was difficult as he did not want to part from her, but the eagerness for their first dinner date soon consumed him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled a little putting this chapter together with the various sections.  
> I've included a trip around John's family estate as I believe John has a deep feeling of responsibility for it. This, and the interest Esther takes in the estate, deepens their admiration for each other.


	8. In the stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has given Esther a quick tour of his family's estate and now they're getting ready for dinner at the restaurant. Will this first date live up to their expectations?

Once John left her in the room, Esther took a few minutes to reflect on everything that she had seen since she arrived at the station this afternoon. 

Earlier at home, she could not settle to do anything, her belly full of nervous excitement for this trip. Seeing John at the station calmed her a little because he was still the same John with his friendly smile. She was fascinated when he told her about the estate - questions kept popping into her head and John never seemed to tire of answering them. 

The house itself was amazing. It was much grander than her aunt’s house and she was looking forward to seeing more of it during her stay. Most of her and Charlotte’s flat could fit in the room she was standing in now. Even though this wing seemed quite modern in the way it was furnished, she appreciated seeing the details, ornaments and artwork that seemed more in keeping with its nineteenth century origins.

Esther curtailed her daydreaming so that she could get ready and retrieved her toiletries bag for a quick shower. She arranged her hair in a casual up-do and put on some light make-up. Her hands shook with nerves, so she made do with just a little eye shadow and mascara. A clear lip gloss was last as she hoped there would be more kissing later – she enjoyed their little session earlier on. 

That thought made her think again about what would happen later when they returned from the restaurant. Being in close proximity with John today, and experiencing kisses and little touches from him, made her crave more intimacy. She wondered what John expected from this evening – based on what she experienced so far, he would be a willing partner but also patient if she wanted to keep it to some kissing and cuddling.

The dress she brought to wear was one of only a few she owned. She did not go on many dates and preferred to wear tops and trousers when going clubbing with the girls. This dress was a lavender grey satin off-the-shoulder that had long languished in the back of her wardrobe. She originally wore it to a works party at a posh hotel, held for the successful completion of a project. She hoped that it was suitable for the restaurant.

Strappy sandals and a few dabs of perfume completed her look. She put her phone in a small clutch bag then took a few deep breaths to calm her jittery butterflies. Esther wanted everything to go well - she knew this evening was important to John and did not wish to disappoint. Carefully in her heels, she made her way down to the living room where John said to meet.

John got changed quickly and paced the room waiting for Esther. In planning this evening, he thought of all kinds of ideas to make it more romantic until he realised those ideas would probably make Esther uncomfortable. He decided to keep it simple, have a meal at the restaurant and a drink at the local pub before coming back here. 

The kiss this afternoon whetted his appetite for getting closer to Esther, but he reminded himself to temper his expectations and be guided by Esther and her comfort level. It was early days in this new side of their relationship and he wanted Esther to enjoy being with him as much as he enjoyed being with her.

Esther’s “Hi” jolted him from his thoughts. His mouth dropped open seeing her in the doorway – she was drop dead gorgeous in her satin dress. 

“You’re beautiful,” he breathed as he gazed at her.

Esther stared and blushed at his remark. With her hair up, her neck and collarbone were laid bare and he resisted the urge to drop small kisses there – he hoped she would let him do that later. Her slender arms were decorated with slim bracelets and her legs seemed to go on forever.

His stare lingered for a few moments before he remembered himself and asked if she wanted an aperitif. She requested a small vodka and lemonade – to settle her nerves she said, and he laughed with her. He confessed he was anxious too as he had not dated in a while - that seemed to break the tension a little.

John gave Esther her drink and her eyes were caught by a painting in the room. Following her look, John started to relate the history of some of the artwork in the house and what he knew of the artists. They both relaxed into the conversation as discussing art was familiar to them – this was a good start to the evening.

The restaurant reservation was forgotten as the pair lost themselves in the house’s history. When John noticed the time, he quickly guided Esther out of the house with his arm around her back, goosebumps prickling over his skin. He opened the car door for her, leading Esther to roll her eyes and comment about it being the 21st century, she could do it herself. Laughing, he responded saying he wanted to be a gentleman on their date - she rolled her eyes again but there was a hint of a blush on her cheeks.

The restaurant was in the same place as the station, so it was a fifteen-minute drive. John pointed out some places of interest along the way and Esther asked about the villages that she had seen on the drive this afternoon. When they parked up, Esther let him open the car door for her and she took his hand to get out – she decided it was easier with the high heels she was wearing. She held onto his arm walking into the restaurant – the sensation of being close to him felt new, yet oddly comfortable for her.

John knew the maitre d’ and they exchanged greetings before John introduced Esther and they were escorted to their table. It was situated in a quiet corner of the restaurant with a lit candle. Menus were handed over and the specials of the day explained. John asked if there were any dishes that his friend would recommend, and Esther tried to concentrate on what was being said. Unfortunately, she missed half of the dishes as all her nerves resurfaced – she and John were on their first date.

The maitre d’ left and John gently touched her arm to bring her back to the present. “Esther, are you ok?”

Esther nodded but not convincingly as she saw John’s face cloud over. 

“I remembered this was a date and I got nervous again,” she wavered.

“I understand.” John took her hand and stroked the back of it with his thumb. “Let’s just think of it as two people who get on well having some food together………I’ve been told the goat’s cheese is good for a starter, anything else you like on the menu?” 

He smiled at her, the friendly smile that was just so John, and she saw the adoration and patience in his eyes. She relaxed a little and gathered her courage whilst she looked at the menu. “I’ll eat most things, so tell me what was recommended and maybe I’ll give it a go.”

Once they ordered their food and drinks, John enlightened Esther about some of his family’s history and that of the house. He hoped to relax her as she still seemed quite nervous. His plan worked because soon she was asking questions and they were comparing John’s house with that of Esther’s aunt. 

The food came and they ate whilst carrying on their conversation. Topics flowed from one to another with ease and John delighted in Esther's passion and sparkling eyes. Time flew past and he was surprised when desserts were finished and he needed to ask for the bill. He asked Esther if she enjoyed the meal as much as him – the affirmative answer was given by a face flushed from drinking wine, but he thought it just made her look more beautiful. 

After leaving the restaurant, they strolled up the road to a pub for another drink. Esther thought she may be overdressed for a pub, but John said not to worry, he thought she looked amazing.

The pub was an old stone walled building that incorporated historic features such as a huge fireplace in the middle and some booths that were set in between the stone walls. John managed to seat Esther in one of these and went to the bar for drinks. The booth had a bench seat, so when John came back, he sat next to Esther and asked if he could put his arm around her. Esther let out a little giggle which John put down to nerves and wine, but she did move closer to him so he could rest his hand on her shoulder. 

John took a few moments to enjoy this proximity to Esther. Her shoulder cooled his hand, but her leg warmed his. They sat so close to each other he could see flecks of gold in her hazel eyes and the freckles on her collarbone. He was pinned motionless by her gaze, no-one before conjured such feelings in him – feelings of adoration, devotion, love. He bent down to give her a quick kiss on the lips – a small expression of his love but anything more was not suitable for a public place.

To distract himself from his increasingly x-rated thoughts, he started regaling her with stories of the pub and village. He hoped that she would be interested – he already told her a lot about the area and his house today, but she asked a lot of questions too, so hopefully she would be intrigued. She gazed at him intently and cut in with astute observations and questions as he went on.

When they finished their drinks, John suggested they go back to the house and Esther agreed. His eyes betrayed his desire for her and she could tell he really wanted to be with her alone in a private place. She wondered whether her eyes betrayed her desire – being so close to him awakened feelings in her belly she had not experienced in a long time. Her hands itched to stroke his arms and chest and she longed to rest her cheek on his shoulder and nip at his neck.

When they left the pub, she shivered from the cooler temperature and John took off his jacket to wrap around her. She instantly felt warmer and his spicy cologne wafted up to her nostrils. With his arm draped around her, he leisurely guided her back to his car and opened the door for her. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him, but he gave her an exaggerated bow as if he knew what she was thinking.

Esther felt a little dazed in the pub, probably from the full meal and wine. The cool air woke her up and with John’s jacket next to her body, she was reminded of the feelings that were growing inside her. After sitting next to John in the pub, she now missed the warmth of his body next to hers and wished to be close to him again soon.

The drive back was quiet, gentle music playing on the radio and Esther’s thoughts roamed to what she wanted to happen when they were back at the house. Her earlier nerves dissipated and she wanted to be near to John, to hold and kiss him. 

She glanced across to him in the car and could see the strong line of his jaw and his muscular shoulders straining against his shirt. How would those shoulders feel under her fingertips?

Sooner than anticipated, they parked up and Esther gasped when she saw the night sky as she climbed out of the car. It was a clear night and there were so many stars in the sky, many more than she could see in the heart of London. 

She stood still and gazed up to see what constellations she could identify. John moved behind her and gently wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her into his chest. Esther did not fight it – her back felt warm against him and she settled into the hold. They pointed out constellations to each other until they fell silent – just enjoying the magical scene.

Esther never before felt this content – she was warm, relaxed and happy. John was a gentleman today – showing his affection through looks, gentle touches and kisses. But she could sense a lustful tension underneath, one that he masked well to put her at ease. She was thankful for that, to have her emotions develop at their own pace made her desire him even more.

Slowly turning around in his arms, she rested her hands on his chest. In the twilight, she felt rather than saw his eyes burning into her. Of their own accord, her hands moved up to cup his face and her lips followed to meet his in a heated kiss. Her body unconsciously pressed forward and John’s arms pulled tightly around her.

John enjoyed their evening together, the meal was delicious and the conversation fascinating, but his body longed for more. This kiss answered that longing in part – it was so sweet and tender because Esther initiated it, but there was an underlying sensuality that ignited a blaze in John he struggled to contain. The impact was intoxicating and he wished they could be together all night.

Eventually they parted, the need to catch their breaths imperative. John’s desire engulfed him – he needed more of Esther. They quickly headed back to the house and John let them in. 

He asked her if she wanted another drink whilst he locked the door. “No thanks,” she said plainly. He felt the disappointment acutely - he thought a drink was an excuse for them to remain together. He longed to continue their kiss, hold her body close to his and explore it further. 

Pasting a smile on his face, he turned around to face her.

“May I escort you to your room, my lady?” and held out his arm for her.

Esther giggled and wrapped her arm round his. They slowly climbed the stairs, John wishing to make the evening last as long as possible. He declared their date a success and Esther concurred, she was looking forward to the next one. 

When they got to her door, John limited himself to a chaste kiss on her cheek and wished her goodnight. 

Esther looked up at him through her eyelashes, she seemed overcome by a sudden shyness. 

With a soft voice, she asked “Stay with me?” 

She opened her door, grasped his hand and backed into her room, keeping eye contact with him all the time. John’s surprise at Esther’s invitation was quickly replaced by euphoria and with a racing heart he followed her, powerless to resist the temptation.


	9. Morning Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Esther and John have had a successful first date. How will their relationship develop?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a relatively short chapter, following the development of Esther and John's relationship before the final chapter which I will post next week.

Sunshine filtered through the curtains the following morning, easing Esther from her sleep. With her head resting on the pillow, her body relaxed and comfy under the duvet, it took her a few seconds to recall the events of yesterday and last night. Without opening her eyes, she sensed John next to her, radiating heat. Glancing up, she noticed the adoration in his gaze.

“Good morning, Esther” he smiled.

“Good morning, John. I’d forgotten where I was….”

“Not unhappy to find yourself here I hope?” He gently ran his fingers through her hair.

“Come here, John” and she stretched up to give him a kiss.

When John’s stomach rumbled, they broke apart and John disappeared to get them some breakfast. Esther’s mind was much calmer than when she arrived here yesterday. Everything was going well with this little trip – they enjoyed each other’s company, whether it was talking, or eating and drinking, or lying together in this bed. 

Esther wondered whether she took this last step a little fast, but her affections for John developed quickly once she identified them and the kiss after the restaurant felt so right that Esther could not wait. Being with John was natural and comfortable, she just needed to forget the labels such as first date, first kiss, first time having sex with someone. If she felt good with that person then it must be right.

John could not believe his luck to wake up with Esther beside him. Contentment for him was watching her while she slept, taking in her curves, glossy hair and freckles. 

Yesterday’s events proceeded so much better than he envisaged. Esther showed interest in the house and the estate and there was plenty of conversation over the meal and drinks. She stole his breath away in that dress and again when she kissed him under the stars. No other woman affected him so – she was extraordinary.

When she invited him to her room last night he was surprised – he had hopes for further intimacy but no expectations. The connection they shared was deeper and more powerful than he felt with any other woman. He was still reeling from the effects this morning. 

Quickly, he piled up some toast and fruit on a tray with a pot of tea and took it back to her room. She was still in bed, dressed in a t-shirt with her hair around her shoulders, and greeted him with a grin. “Come on, John, I’m starving!” she laughed.

After breakfast and another bout of kissing and cuddling, they prised themselves out of bed and dressed. Esther pestered John for a tour round the house and they spent the next two hours exploring every room. They had to lift dust coverings to get a look at some of the paintings and furniture, but Esther persisted with her fascination for all things Babington.

The weather remained sunny, so John showed her around the gardens, especially the cottage garden with its vegetable patch and dahlias. Walking around holding hands and stealing kisses, John was elated, not even the sun shone as bright as Esther.

Lunch was eaten at another pub, a proper Sunday roast with all the trimmings. Esther confessed that she had never eaten so much as during this weekend, John was at least keeping her well-fed. “Always,” declared John as he gazed into her eyes.

*

Back in London, staying over at John’s flat became a regular thing, soon escalating to two or three times a week. On a work night, they usually ate dinner after coming in from work, venting any frustrations to one another and then relaxing together on the sofa. They still met for cups of tea on the days in between, work permitting, but the lack of privacy frustrated them both.

Weekends were spent visiting museums and art galleries or visiting John’s estate. Esther tried her hand at painting pictures of the house and landscapes while John tended to the estate’s business. She also maintained her interest in how the estate was run and became a sounding board for John’s ideas, sometimes offering suggestions of her own. 

They would cook together or eat at a restaurant in the evening and, weather permitting, go out to see the stars. Sunday mornings were spent in bed before a leisurely breakfast.

Esther got used to the routine and missed John when she was not with him. Thoughts of the next time she would see him were almost a constant companion. Only when they were together, did her heart and mind feel at ease. John was her best friend – there for support, friendship and as a confidante; but he was also her lover, always willing to desire and adore her. 

These two sides of John merged into one person that was greater than the sum of the two parts. She never met anyone who could be both types to her, providing emotional support that she was without for far too long and which now made her life so much more bearable and enjoyable. 

Now and again, she allowed herself a wish for their relationship to continue into months, maybe years. It was a scary wish, too, as she had been hurt before, desiring a future that did not materialise - but a small hope, every once in a while, was conceded.

John kept in touch with his family on a regular basis so it should have been no surprise when she was invited to visit them. The thought never crossed her mind - with the two members of her family only tolerated, John being introduced to them was never contemplated. 

He asked her one evening when she was staying at his flat. Although he tried to make light of the request, a casual invitation to dinner at his parents the next time they were in the country, the apprehension and hopefulness on his face was unmistakable.

Esther’s past boyfriends were never serious enough to warrant meeting their parents and so this request made her anxious. Firstly, for years she had no loving family to speak of and had no idea what John’s family expected of her. Would they judge her, to see if she met up to their expectations for their son?

Secondly, for John to ask he must be serious about their relationship. This was encouraging to Esther because she was developing deeper feelings for John and it suggested he felt the same, but it was scary, too. She admitted her anxiety to John but, knowing it was important to him, she set aside her doubts and agreed to the visit.

Her worries were unfounded - his parents were lovely and welcoming, proving where John inherited his friendly nature. His father was charming and laid back whilst his mother treated her warmly and did not ask her too many personal questions. John must have warned her that Esther was not one to divulge her family history to strangers. 

She talked passionately about their house and estate with them, asking questions and listening to their exciting tales of family ancestors.

John bore it good naturedly when his mother pulled out photos of him when he was little – he was adorable! Twinges of sadness appeared when seeing their group family photos however, but John was there with a squeeze of her hand and a sympathetic smile to dispel them.

A further couple of visits occurred and Esther enjoyed them very much – his parents accepted her as a person in her own right, not just as John’s girlfriend. 

*

The summer turned to autumn, and although Esther regularly stayed over with John, their times apart became sore trials of patience for him, waiting until their next reunion. 

Speaking on the phone was a poor substitute to having her physically next to him, rolling her eyes at silly things he said, or laughing at one of his jokes. His body ached to hold her again minutes after she left his flat to go home or to work. After spending weeks yearning for her to be his date, his heart now yearned for her to be with him forever. Esther was ‘the one’. 

John contemplated this revelation regularly, both with and without Esther at his side but never broached aloud. Their romantic relationship developed quickly after John confessed his feelings but the depth of affection they felt for each other was new to them both. 

John was torn between two options: opening his heart, letting loose all the love and adoration for Esther that built up from that first night they met at Crowe’s party – with the risk that Esther could be overwhelmed; or taking steps one at a time to guide them both along this unknown path. Already they made a start to their journey together, but John was impatient to speed along that road. 

When they enjoyed a quiet evening together, snuggled on the sofa, John would steer the conversation to talking of their future aspirations. He wanted to develop the family estate and bring it into the 21st century so that there were streams of income large enough to cover the ever-increasing costs of keeping the lands and house in good repair. Esther supported these goals and offered some ideas to assist.

To test the waters of their relationship, he also mentioned that one day he would like to settle back in the country and raise a family there. That dream had been with him a few years, but he had not found the right woman to share it with him – until now. 

Esther listened to this dream but did not say anything and John, concerned about her lack of response, quickly moved on to another topic.

Maybe it was too soon, to be considering that future with Esther. He strived to enjoy the present with her, be in the moment and not be plagued by ‘what ifs’ of the future. But late at night, when the bed was cold beside him, he fantasized of a time when he and Esther lived together in the country with a family of their own.

Esther shared John’s desire for changes to the estate. She loved the area and house and understood the need to adapt for it to be self-sufficient in this new century. Ideas formed in her mind of how that could be realised and she broached some of them with John to get his feedback. 

Esther respected John’s dreams for a future family in the country but initially they startled her – she never looked that far ahead for herself. 

John said it was a dream for a long time in the future, but it planted a small seed in Esther’s mind that now and again she would tend to. 

Little by little the seed started to grow, and, after many weeks, it became a dream that she cautiously harboured for her and John, too. It was a dream where she knew she would be happy and content.


	10. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Esther and John are making plans for Christmas.

If Esther were asked last Christmas where she would be in a year, she would never have thought to be having a turkey dinner with her boyfriend’s parents. Until four years ago, Christmas was spent with her aunt and sometimes Edward, and the days were a mix of stilted conversation and sad memories of the past. 

After she met Charlotte and they became friends, she was invited to spend Christmas with Charlotte and her large family. These were much more traditional visits with decorations, games and excitable children opening presents. Charlotte’s family involved her as much as possible, but Esther still felt a little on the outside looking in on their fun and traditions.

Now, this year, John asked if she wanted to spend Christmas with his family – at his parents’ home with his younger sister coming to visit. They could stay at the main house and visit his family on Christmas Day for the turkey dinner and present opening. 

Esther got on well with John’s parents and enjoyed talking to them about the estate. But the nagging sensation that she was an intruder when visiting his family would not rest. 

She admitted her doubts to John early in December. He sat her down and took her hands in his, adoration in his eyes. 

“Esther, you are very important to me, just as important as my family. I would like to spend Christmas with all those I hold dear. My parents feel the same – they have specifically invited you to come.”

Esther’s heart filled with warmth from John’s sentiments. Unease and doubt were swept away by acceptance and adoration. This Christmas she would be welcomed as part of their family – a sensation she had not experienced for many years.

Although she visited them a few times, Esther did not know his parents very well and so she agonised over what presents to buy them, questioning John and making suggestions. John finally pulled out her folder of paintings – ones that she created of the main house and asked her to pick her best one. “Frame it and gift that. They will really appreciate it and hang it up straight away,” he advised.

Deferring to John’s judgment, she chose the best likeness and took it to be framed. She bought a bottle of quality perfume for his sister. John’s gift was comparatively easy to choose and was already wrapped up in the bottom of her wardrobe. Last thing to purchase, a new sweater to go with her smartest jeans – now she was ready for Christmas Day.

John and Esther travelled up together on the train on Christmas Eve. Neither had been able to finish work earlier but fortunately they did not need to return until the New Year. John was looking forward to some uninterrupted time with Esther, much of it spent in bed if she was willing.

They did not have to be at his parents’ house until 12 noon so lazed in bed on Christmas Day morning. They swapped presents after breakfast – a book for John that he coveted from an art exhibition they visited recently, and a watch for Esther to replace the one accidentally dropped in the toilet.

John reassured Esther as they were driving over to his parents. She was looking forward to the day but admitted a little apprehension over meeting his sister and taking part in a family Christmas. Before they entered the house, John kissed her and told her she was extraordinary – his Christmas would not be the same without her.

John’s kiss calmed Esther’s butterflies and she entered his parents’ house with excitement for the day. She was introduced to John’s younger sister, home for a few days from her job up north. Beautiful decorations adorned the large real tree in the sitting room – Esther voiced her admiration whilst they had drinks. 

Then it was time to get the Christmas dinner ready. Esther joined his sister and mother in preparing the food whilst John assisted his father in extending the dining table and laying out the placemats and cutlery. 

Esther conversed easily with the women, discussions about work and preparations for Christmas the main topics. 

When it was time to sit and eat, Esther brought in some of the dishes and received a peck on the cheek from John before she sat down between him and his father. Crackers were pulled and paper hats put on before everyone started on the food. 

Esther ate copious amounts of turkey and vegetables, the bird the best she ever tasted. She complimented John’s mother who commented, wryly, she had many years of practice to cook it to perfection. 

As the meal carried on, Esther contributed to the family conversation and banter more and more, her nervousness slipping away with these friendly, accepting people. She knew why John turned out to be such a generous and caring man. Esther thoroughly enjoyed the experience - not once did she feel out of place. Every so often, John would rest his hand on her thigh or look across with his friendly smile – letting her know he wanted her there.

The flaming Christmas pudding met with excited gasps of delight from everyone at the end of the meal and Esther considered it the best Christmas meal she had shared in years.

John sensed Esther’s enjoyment and his heart swelled with love for her. All he wanted was to make her happy.

After the remains of the meal were tidied away it was time to open presents. John squeezed Esther’s hand to calm her as he knew this was the first time she let people, other than John, see her artwork. His judgment was correct – his parents delightfully exclaimed over Esther’s painting and within a minute John’s father was hanging it up in the sitting room. John smirked at Esther with a “I told you so” once it was up. 

Esther received a book from John’s parents that she wanted for a while and accepted it graciously. She mouthed a quick ‘thank you’ to John as she knew he must have suggested it.

John warned Esther that his family played charades at Christmas and were quite competitive. They spent evenings practising in London after Esther admitted she rarely played it. The family paired up, John and Esther versus father and sister – his mother was referee. John encouraged Esther throughout and she relished the guessing and quick play of the game.

Tea was a buffet of leftover turkey and prepared food so it was quickly laid out and people could pick as much as they wanted. John noticed Esther did not eat very much and asked if she was OK, but she declared she had eaten too much turkey earlier on.

After the food, conversation was more subdued, as the full bellies and lively games took their toll on everyone. John grasped Esther’s hand and proposed the two of them should be heading back to the main house. John’s mother asked if they were tired but raised her eyebrow at Esther, making her blush – she knew John had other reasons for leaving. 

She offered Esther a small hug and her father grasped her hands before they retrieved their coats. Esther thanked them for the book and for a wonderful day, she thoroughly enjoyed it. 

Back at the main house, John and Esther collapsed on the sofa with a bottle of wine. The sparkle in Esther’s eyes was not lost on John and he asked for her review of the Babington Christmas.

She stroked her thumb over the back of his hand and said, with a contented smile on her face, “That was probably the best Christmas I’ve had in years. I need to know your mother’s secret of how to cook a turkey!”

John laughed at that but could not help his intense gaze resting on Esther’s face. For weeks now, he considered Esther to be the only woman with whom he wanted to share his life. His heart overflowed with love for her and he struggled to contain it and not overwhelm Esther. Her feelings had caught up with his significantly since that first night in his flat, but he wondered whether she was ready for this next big step he planned. 

“I’m glad you’ve enjoyed today, Esther. I think it’s been one of the best Christmases I’ve had, too. Which reminds me, I’ve got another little present for you.”

He got up off the sofa to fetch it, with Esther’s voice ringing in his ears, “Oh! But I haven’t got another present for you.”

John retrieved the present, hidden in the bottom of his bag, and returned to Esther, but not before taking a deep breath just outside the door.

He knelt at Esther’s feet by the sofa, the present hidden behind his back. Esther had a quizzical expression that turned unsure when he took her hand with his free one.

“Esther, you are an extraordinary woman. Do you know that I’m in love with you?”

Esther’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open.

“I want to make you happy. I could never try to lead you or constrain you. All I ask is to walk through life by your side. Will you marry me?”

He brought the ring box from behind his back and opened it up for her. Esther’s incredulous face morphed into one of shock at the size of the diamond on the ring and she let out a gasp. John remained silent, transfixed by Esther’s face, and waited for her to process the proposal and consider her response. He hoped it would not take as long as that evening in his flat.

Her surprise lasted for at least a minute and then she composed herself. Taking his hands in hers, she looked deep into his eyes. After considering for a moment she responded, “Very well then. I will marry you.”

John was surprised, “You accept me?” he stammered.

Esther cupped his face with both hands and kissed him soundly so he could be in no doubt.

_Five months later_

Esther gave herself a critical once over in the mirror. The dress was simple but elegant, she was not one for fussy details. Her make-up was natural and her hair up but with soft wavy tendrils framing her face. She did not look like a blushing bride but inside her stomach churned with nerves. Many times she had doubts about the wedding, but never about the man she was going to wed.

It was barely a year since she first met John, but her life was so different to back then. Rather than fighting life every day to get on and succeed with little semblance of happiness to speak of in her heart, she now had an abundance of joy filling her with warmth every time she looked at John. He not only accepted who she was but rejoiced in her wit, passion and quirks. 

Since the proposal at Christmas, they often spent evenings discussing their plans for the future. Esther moved into John’s flat and they started saving money to pay for some of the changes they wished to make for the main house and estate. A few years in London would be enough time to implement their projects and see the expected increase in income for the estate. Then they could move out to the country and, perhaps, work there full-time.

John did not mention his dream of a family again until Esther raised the topic. He confessed that it was something he long wished for, but there was no rush to make a decision – he was happy for them to spend time together for years before they needed to choose if and when.

Esther knew that her silence when he first mentioned it made him reticent to discuss it further. Knowing that it needed to be deliberated, now they were to be married, she admitted that her long- term future was never contemplated until she met him. She loved him and the thought of living in the country with a family of their own was a dream she cherished since before Christmas. John was astonished at her confession and was so moved that tears slipped from his eyes and he hugged her tightly for a while before he was composed.

That moment sealed the deal for Esther – it confirmed John was the right man with whom to make a life and family. They had similar goals for the future and they would walk this path together.

Esther had very few guests to add to the list for the wedding, but had no doubts in asking Charlotte to be her bridesmaid. They dressed together in the bridal suite of the hotel where the ceremony was being held. Charlotte helped to calm her, many of the guests invited today Esther did not know, and it was a much bigger affair than she wanted. John empathised with her, but unfortunately there were still expectations for an Earl’s family, even in the 21st century.

He held the view that the wedding was just one day, but, afterwards, they would have the rest of their lives together and live how they wanted. Esther repeated this almost mantra-like to herself when the preparations got too much.

Nervously walking down the stairs to the ceremony room, and hanging onto Charlotte’s hand as if her life depended on it, she repeated the mantra and pictured John’s smile in her mind. He was worth the one day of strangers.

She took calming breaths as the music started up and Charlotte entered first. This was it – a huge step forward in her life but one she knew was the right one.

As she walked up the aisle she concentrated on John’s face as he gazed lovingly back. When she arrived next to him, he gave her that friendly smile she had known ever since their first meeting. They squeezed each other’s hands and took their vows to love and cherish one another for the rest of their days, side by side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that is the end of my first fanfic! I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Thank you to everyone who has followed my take on a modern Esther and Babbers journey! I would love to read your comments :)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you've enjoyed it so far. Please comment on your favourite part!  
> New chapters will be updated at least weekly.


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